Finding peace, surviving and thriving
For The Love Of Crying - like the wise trees that easily let go of their spent leaves - so that they can grow again, grow more, grow anew - WE MUST LET GO - and come home to our bodies, come fully into the present moment.
Borrowing beliefs from Eckhart Tolle, in The Power of Now, there is only now, now is all we have. The past and future are in our imagination. In this disconnected world, where it feels impossible to find stillness, Yogary Treats gives you vital tools for finding peace, for surviving and thriving.
I could write about this life changing experience forever and a day. Where do I start? This is far more than yoga. The eloquence, soothing pace, and insights into Buddhist and Chinese philosophy that Will and Gem bring, without feeling bombarded, is skillful and joyous. They both possess enormous hearts.
It's day three after returning home from the retreat and I am forced into a state of collapse. I must lie down and weep heavily. I meet it with a sense of relief. I knew this would come - this moment when all I have experienced has filtered through and is now galvanized; a process to initiate a reaction. I’ve learned something very important: that crying in this way does not need to come with feelings of despair and hopelessness.
No matter how trivial or how bad things may seem, it matters not, we must acknowledge what our body feels. Feelings are valid and only want to be felt. I have learned to tune into how my body feels and honour its needs. Only then can we move beyond difficulty.
I know that the release is good. I don’t know about you, but I always have delayed reactions to things, so I am not surprised by this collapse. (Note, maybe ensure you have a couple days holiday after the retreat because this is relaxing and lovely - but it is self-work.) I did cry quietly in Shavasana sometimes but I need this proper, loud release.
I don’t want to say too much about the retreat itself. It’s like when someone recommends a film to you and then tells you the entire story and you no longer need to see it. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, the sense of adventure. I didn’t even read the itinerary. The whole thing was a wonderful, beautiful surprise to me.
If you have not already met the hosts of Yogary Treats you will not be disappointed. These two people simply want you to know that you can find peace. They are without doubt or exaggeration the perfect Yoga retreat hosts, the best you could wish for. The itinerary is gentle yet exhilarating. You will learn a lot. You will be held in safety. Comforted every step of the way.
I thought I knew what Yoga was about - stretching, opening up, stillness. But there is much more. It is not an exercise. It is a way of life. I so want to tell you more but I won’t spoil it for you - now as I write the tears are coming again just thinking how wonderful it was, how it was exactly what I needed and how Will and Gem seemed to know exactly what I needed; like when I was tearful after some of the somatics, lying on my back, hiding under my scarf, I felt a tissue placed into my hand. Looking back I can see now why I always took my large heavy scarf into the studio even though it was warm in there. In challenging times our survival instincts will always try to find ways to protect us. (They provide beautiful blankets, but it’s just nice to have something of your own nearby. Layers are wonderful things.)
Please don't find this a sombre representation. These moments were a tiny part of an enriching, joyful experience, meeting like-minded people in need of a pause.
What they facilitate for your body's much-needed rest is profound and vital. If you have a bucket list this needs to be at the very top. The only other thing I will say is that on day one of the retreat when you enter the opening circle - you have entered into a safe space where I suggest you try to open up. I didn’t do this on the first day and that is my only regret. I held onto something until the last night.
After I told 24 (no longer) strangers that I’ve just spent the last five years grieving for my only child and I am utterly exhausted - WOW - then comes the connection and the release and empowerment was ignited. I’d let my guard down. To make yourself vulnerable like the naked trees in winter - well, that's how we grow and go on to flourish.
In recent years I've hardened to my loss and stopped crying regularly. I’ve missed the release so it feels so good to be opening my heart and getting back in touch with my emotions, stopping the constant soldiering on, taking off the heavy brave face. I thought I wanted to go on a Yoga retreat to be disciplined in some intensive exercise and improve yoga postures. It was much more restorative. I had no idea how much I needed that. Everybody needs this no matter where you are, way out to sea, somewhere in your life, wearing heavy identities and roles, no matter how great or small you think your challenges are, everybody needs this.
A memorable moment was a woman, who the day before had been too emotional at the opening circle to share her intention, after our first class - she stood up, head high and simply said, I am who I am. It was so simple and yet so powerful. What an adventure, to take this leap of faith and enter into the circle of all walks of life, meet 24 beautiful strangers and open ourselves to each other. WOW.
Finally, in that space, I felt what my body was trying to tell me. I noticed what I was noticing, asking, what am I being drawn to and why? - In the beautiful grounds of the venue I found myself drawn to the solidity of the enormous Agaves
Their silent steadiness was telling me I needed to focus on stillness. Between classes I found myself seated opposite them, pen and paper, quiet but intense concentration was blissful. I'm no artist but the practice of focusing and creating was a feeling of everything coming together. I used to draw and paint with my son all the time.
So you see, this essential time and space just for me brought me to my needs, closer to my son, to creative joys, to myself.